Letter #4

*Warning* I've decided to leave the mushy stuff in this one. I hope it doesn't bother anyone.

Sept. 25, 2008
I GOT YOUR LETTER! It made me SOOOOO happy! Every evening we have mail call. I would always expect none so I wouldn't get depressed, but there was always a hope.
Sept. 26, 2008
I have fireguard tonight from 1-2 AM and the APFT, obstacle course, AND confidence course tomorrow, not to mention a 2 mile march with 40+ lb. rucksacks tomorrow. I need sleep. I'll write again tomorrow, though, after it's all done.
Sept. 27, 2008
Hey. I'm tired, but I had a lot of fun today. I did 58 pushups, 52 situps, and ran 2 miles in 14:27. PT Score of 236. I think I did 188 before. The ruckmarch I just kind of blocked out. But the obstacle course rocked. We had to high crawl, then climb a rope, then swing across monkey bars, run across a log, run a set of high-steps, drop down 2 small walls, crawl on my back trhough mud and water under barbed wire (ditch-crawl), overa hurdle, under and over a double-hurdle, hop a wall, bear crawl 50 meters, crabwalk 50 meters, and crawl through a concrete tube. Fun times.
Then we herded over to the confidence course. I was entirely in my element.
Ok. So it started with 7 walls of increasing height. Then we moved on to "the bellybuster." It consists of a wood beam you have to flip yourself over, a wall you have to use a rope to climb, a pole you sloth crawl across, let yourself down a rope, balance across 3 logs and swing across monkey bars. Then we hit this tower where you climb about 40 ft. in the air, use a rope for the last 1/4 of the climb, then descend head first and upside-down down an inclined rope. I helped about 10 soldiers conquer their fear of heights. The last thing was a set of handless hurdles, a rope-swing-over-a-wall, followed by 10 vault hurdles and an inclined log run. It was paradise. Spiderman is back! I impressed the Drill Sergeant by vaulting the 10 through my arms instead of around. That probably doesn't make sense.
Everyone says you and I look alike. One guy said you and I look like we were meant for each other. I said, "yeah," and teared up. Everyone here knows how much I love you. I don't hide it one bit. I half expected to be made fun of for it, but they respect me for it. It's cool. A couple of them have asked what they can do to strenthen their marriages. I simply tell them to put their wives' needs first. To some, this is like a foreign concept. *shrug* There's a guy in the next bunk who is 31 and married. He gets it.
Sept. 28, 2008
This kid offered me 5 dollars to do fireguard with him, so he wouldn't have to do it with another guy. He said that guy always falls asleep and he wanted somebody dependable. I don't require a whole lot of sleep, so that was fine. So there we are, 4 AM, everyone else was asleep, and he asks me my views on religion. I'm not sure he'll ask me again. I miss you so much, especially at night. I'll just think about you the whole time during fireguard. I think about you any time it starts getting to me, and I can do it. You're my North Star. You are where I'll be happiest, and it keeps me going. You help me fight. The other day one of the M16s went missing, so the Drill Sergeant was pissed. It's a serious thing. One M16 goes missing and the entirety of Ft. Benning is on lockdown. Turns out one guy just left his in the rack, but we were supposed to take it with us. So, to teach us a lesson, the D.S. had each member of the platoon go downstairs and get a sandbag. Then we opened the sandbags back up in the bay and dumped the sand on the floor. Then he had us empty our camelbacks onto the sand. (About 300 lbs. of sand, 120 gallons of water.) So now our floor is covered in wet sand. He makes us do pushups in it. Then he says that the floor had better be spotless and waxed by morning. I wanted to cry. Then I thought of you. When he left, I built a sand castle. If I'm strong, it's because you made me strong. And we had the floor waxed an hour later. Anyway, it's Sunday and chow's coming up, so I'll write more later.
-Later-
Mmm... Pork chop, cottage cheese, mashed potatoes, cornbread, full glass of water, full glass of powerade. In 3 minutes. That's about all the time we get to eat any of our meals. I have to inhale my food. So the food I choose to put on my tray, I try to make sure it's either stuff that requires minimal chewing (cottage cheese, applesauce, mashed potatoes, macaroni salad, etc.) or stuff like bread slices or cornbread that breaks up easily with a little fluid.
Hm. Just found out we have a 5 mile ruck march tomorrow. In my ruck is: 1 protective vest, 1 helmet, my uniform, 2 pair socks, 2 pair shirts, 2 pair underwear (all in a weatherproof bag), a sleeping bag in a stufsak, a set of wet weather gear, poncho, and my camelback. Altogether, it weighs 68 lbs. So, yeah. That's going to be an experience. (DO NOT WANT.) It's cool though, I'll just get some Motion City Soundtrack in my head and go. (Or Banana Pancakes!)
Anyway, if I want to get this sent I'd better wrap up. I was going to say I'm not sure what happened to my writing since I've been here... my words will just drop a letter, a letter won't be fully formed, I'll suddenly put an uppercase letter in the middle of a word, or I'll start writing a word from the middle. I hope it's not too unreadable. I hope you write back soon. I love you. More every second. I can't wait to take you in my arms again. Heaven to me is never having to let go. I love you.
Spyder

I wanted to leave everything in it because some parts are part of the story he's telling. And because what he says shows what a wonderful man he is. He does put me first. And I try to put him first. That's why it works. We both give all we have to each other and hold nothing back. Oh, and Banana Pancakes is a Jack Johnson song. It always helps us feel better. And it's our cat's favorite song. He'll run into the room, curl up, and go to sleep when we play that song. I knew Spyder would be good at this stuff. (I've got to say, though, what he calls paradise sounds pretty hard to me.) I'm so proud of him.